I attended the Pet Loss Support group at our local Humane Society again this week. The group meets monthly and I was there once before (in March). All the people were different, but the stories and personality types were eerily similar. For example, both times there was a couple who had recently lost a pet in a violent tragedy.
The most valuable part for me this time was hearing all the different stories of how people handled their pet’s illness. I learned that no matter what approach was taken, the results were the same: The animal died and the owner(s) regretted how they handled the crisis, wondering if they should have made different choices.
In my case, I wondered if I should have tried harder to keep my dog alive when he was suffering. However, those who waited longer felt just as guilty, wondering if they had made their pet suffer needlessly by keeping them alive too long. I also wondered if I should have tried acupuncture or more pain medications. Those who used those methods were no happier with the results. The end is the same: The time comes when you must let your pet go.
The therapist pointed that reviewing (or agonizing over) our decisions is part of the grief process. It’s known as bargaining. Of course, I have heard about this before, but I understand more completely what is meant by “bargaining,” and how powerfully it can take over the mind and heart.
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"The animal died and the owner(s) regretted how they handled the crisis, wondering if they should have made different choices."
"The end is the same: The time comes when you must let your pet go."
I had to make the difficult choice of putting my cat to sleep this morning, and these two sentences alone have made me feel much better about the difficult decision I had to make.
However, unfortunately, I know it's still going to take a long time to get over what happened. It's amazing how attached you can get to a pet when you've had them for over 10 years.
I miss the little guy so much.
It's great that you found the need to attend at support group for those who are currently undergoing pet loss grief. As you hear their stories, though similar, the simple thought that you are not alone in this kind of situation helps ease the pain.
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