Winston kissing me... one of our last photos togetherOne idea has helped me move on now that my dog Winston is gone. It’s this: He would want me to keep going.
Winston would want me to keep walking on the park trails that we loved to walk together -- and even explore new trails with our new dog. He would want me to keep enjoying the scents of fresh grass and mustard flowers, the warm sunshine, the crunch of the earth beneath my feet, the songs of birds and crickets.
Winston never missed an opportunity to go for a walk. As long as he had breath, he enjoyed life. Nothing stopped him from living his life to the full, and he would not approve if I let my love for him stop me from living my life fully.
So I go on. It’s what Winston would want.
6 comments:
If Outlook Express worked on this old computer I would email you. Today my lovely Iris died in siezures while I held her paws in my hands. She is 13 years old. I guess I thought she would live forever. I live on a remote ranch in the mountains of northern New Mexico - 8,000'. I worked all over Alaska in construction management and I was fearless - until I became extremely ill. Iris has been with me all this time that I have lived in almost total isolation. I have four amazing horses too. When Iris died, the horses tore down 20 feet of heavy wooden fence at the end of their hay meadow.
She was extremely beautiful - border collie/besinji. She was so extremely intelligent that it was spooky. Iris wanted to bite everybody all the time. This trait was quite valuable where I live and work. In fact, right now, I am in an unlockable house with my shotgun, just like everybody else who lives around here. No Iris to alert me about bad noises, etc. Not good. she was such an amazing creature. I never knew until about a year ago that Iris would treat little stuffed animals like her own babies! Who would have thought? She was just an old softy like me. Thank God I had these last two years of relative peace with her. I feel as if the breath has been knocked out of me for all time. I was holding her hands and I could see she was holding on for me. I had to tell her to let go and take off - don't worry about me my love. Not now either. I buried her in the yard right off the back porch. Now Iris is free to roam and bug everybody every where. She looked so peaceful. I am so glad that I did not leave her at the vet's place. She has almost never been to a vet - it's not good to have the horse vet alienated by a sassy pooch.
I really don't know where I am on the internet, but I must have been here before - I always use janeinthemtns when I am on the internet.
This thing comes over in in huge suffocating waves. I cannot describe it. I expect her everywhere. We were always together in the house. We spent three winters in 30 below zero weather in frozen old adobes - she never really stopped creeping under the covers with her head on the pillow. I sure am grateful that Iris and I did some loud, heartfelt singing together recently. If I ever made anytime of howling sound, Iris's little pointy nose would go straight up and we would sing away. We learned how to do that in Westcliffe CO in 2000. We were in a remote bunkhouse with no other entertainment besides each other. I will try to post two pretty pictures of Iris that I took in February, 2009. I sent a bunch of photos of her to my daughters and they dissappeared from me cell phone. I don't really have any use for anyone in my family - I left a teary voice mail message for a sister, but have not heard anything.
My next dog will be a female Cheasapeake Bay Retriever. I will start looking for a baby beauty right now. First I will try to post Iris's photo. I called Iris by the name of Bunny most of the time - everytime we moved to a new place, she would not rest until she had hunted down all the little bunnies in the area.
I guess I feel somewhat better now. I'm sort of afraid of what will happen next. I can alway run out to the horses.
I will always see Iris hopping into an irrigation ditch and how she would stretch out to get some cool water on her tummy. Then she would spring straight up, without bending her legs, and suddenly be standing on the side of the ditch. She could do that standing next to a bed too. Suddenly, without a crouch, Iris would be daintily standing on whoever was lying on the bed. I love Iris more than almost all other living beings. Certainly more than any human beings I know.
Iris wants me to go on.
Thank you, Jane, for sharing the beautiful story of you and Iris. I know that your love goes on.
Last night I cried again because I still miss Winston... more than a year after he left this world.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Winston. I just lost my Dino two weeks ago. The grief can be overwhelming. I ran across your blog (I am not sure how), but I wanted to let you know that your sharing is wonderful and appreciated!
Thanks, Keith. People like you encourage me to keep going and also to keep this blog alive. It's important to know you're not alone in grieving a beloved "fur baby."
WE ALSO LOST OUR DOG WINSTON ON THANKSGIVING DAY.HE WAS BLIND AND HE WENT IN TO A COMA.HE AS TAKEN PART OF OUR LIVES WITH HIM.I PICTURE HIM IN A LARGE ROOM AND I SEE OTHER DOGS PLAYING BUT WINSTON IS SITTING WAITING FOR SOME ONE IS TAIL IS WAGGING. I FEEL ITS ME. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
ED.
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